i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i think i have two assholes
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
