There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
