Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
