dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
