How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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