Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Banned from zoo.
Again?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
