Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
