Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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