Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize