i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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