I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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