I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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