i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
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