why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
he shaved USA in his pubs
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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