That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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