I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
