U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
