I am puke
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
If I had your ass I would rule the world
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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