remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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