My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
