What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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