I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
