Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm lost and stupid without you.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
i drank out of a bidet.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
