Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
