Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
