And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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