Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize