Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
