Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
