i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Farmville is her only friend.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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