First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize