Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize