I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
