i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Pappa wants mamma naked
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Welp...herpes.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
