I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I will pee on everything he values.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
