Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize