It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
