I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
