He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
