i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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