Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
