Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
