before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I love having hate sex.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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