I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
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