glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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