White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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