If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
