I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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