Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I could fuck to npr.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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