So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
