So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Alive.
So much puke
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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