Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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