Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
