If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
