I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
