i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
