Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
