Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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