its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
