you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
