Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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