Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
