part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
