PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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