i will never coherently bang her
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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