i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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