I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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