i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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