ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
