Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize